Love, Life and Sunsets

sunst        Life and Love is all about moving and enjoying every sunset and looking forward to the next sunrise.I would say that the first stab of love is like a sunset, dark and a bit scary, but you can find its real beauty if you look into its positive side… Looking back after that miserable break-up, I stood up and have found true happiness… Yes I have loved and lost but i could still say thank you for that pain.They wonder why i love sunsets so much rather than sunrise…. Its my favorite part of the day, because i always can relate to it. Im kind of person who is hopeful,..optimistic and always chose to see the positive side of my every failures.

           After three years enjoying being single I started trying coz this time I knew i am ready…Though I’m not really serious about it, because i can feel I am not that attached to anyonelses sweetness,and insensitive of their cares and concerns. Until I found myself crazily playing with my emotions..hahaha I thought its my kind of thing anymore, I just don’t want to be that committed.

Until these happened…….

           I couldn’t wipe the smile off my face as I pulled off my seat. I’d just been on a fantastic date and was sitting on cloud 29 as a result. (That’s 20 clouds higher than cloud 9!) I was that happy.It lasted for about a week …. until I realized —-he’s not that attractive and its not exciting anymore. Im not answering his calls , and not texting back.

         Unsure of what happened and what i’ve felt, I asked my friends for advice… It was decided that I should not wore my heart on my sleeve, and I needed to keep him guessing about what I felt. And so I learned the dating game, when to show I cared and when to pretend I didn’t.It totally worked! . .Coz i realized he’s not that persuasive. So I guessed he didn’t like me that much.

        So I went on more dates coz i’ve been wanting to be in a committed relationship… only something was off. I was exhausted always trying to figure out when I was allowed to care – constantly worried that if I stopped this game, he’d lose interest.

         You cannot only pretend to be something else for so long… Weeks later after repeating this process many times, I decided to take a chance.I dropped the games and sure, I tasted pain again! But soon enough, I was hopeful to find myself in a positive healthy relationship…

           I was once a girl who’ have always envied people who knew to whom they were meant for, and what they were meant to do… my life has been a constant search for that sense of knowing and belonging to a purpose that engaged my heart. …and now i think the searching is not yet over..haha:)

love love love”lizzie”

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