Life and Love is all about moving and enjoying every sunset and looking forward to the next sunrise.I would say that the first stab of love is like a sunset, dark and a bit scary, but you can find its real beauty if you look into its positive side… Looking back after that miserable break-up, I stood up and have found true happiness… Yes I have loved and lost but i could still say thank you for that pain.They wonder why i love sunsets so much rather than sunrise…. Its my favorite part of the day, because i always can relate to it. Im kind of person who is hopeful,..optimistic and always chose to see the positive side of my every failures.
After three years enjoying being single I started trying coz this time I knew i am ready…Though I’m not really serious about it, because i can feel I am not that attached to anyonelses sweetness,and insensitive of their cares and concerns. Until I found myself crazily playing with my emotions..hahaha I thought its my kind of thing anymore, I just don’t want to be that committed.
Until these happened…….
I couldn’t wipe the smile off my face as I pulled off my seat. I’d just been on a fantastic date and was sitting on cloud 29 as a result. (That’s 20 clouds higher than cloud 9!) I was that happy.It lasted for about a week …. until I realized —-he’s not that attractive and its not exciting anymore. Im not answering his calls , and not texting back.
Unsure of what happened and what i’ve felt, I asked my friends for advice… It was decided that I should not wore my heart on my sleeve, and I needed to keep him guessing about what I felt. And so I learned the dating game, when to show I cared and when to pretend I didn’t.It totally worked! . .Coz i realized he’s not that persuasive. So I guessed he didn’t like me that much.
So I went on more dates coz i’ve been wanting to be in a committed relationship… only something was off. I was exhausted always trying to figure out when I was allowed to care – constantly worried that if I stopped this game, he’d lose interest.
You cannot only pretend to be something else for so long… Weeks later after repeating this process many times, I decided to take a chance.I dropped the games and sure, I tasted pain again! But soon enough, I was hopeful to find myself in a positive healthy relationship…
I was once a girl who’ have always envied people who knew to whom they were meant for, and what they were meant to do… my life has been a constant search for that sense of knowing and belonging to a purpose that engaged my heart. …and now i think the searching is not yet over..haha:)
love love love”lizzie”